Day 17: Half Empty or Half Full
Day 17: Half Empty Or Half Full
Something in our nature cries out to be loved by another. Isolation is devastating to the human psyche. That is why solitary confinement is considered the cruelest of punishments. At the heart of humankind’s existence is the desire to be intimate and to be loved by another. Marriage is designed to meet that need for intimacy and love. That is why the biblical writings spoke of the husband and wife becoming “one flesh.” That did not mean that individuals would lose their identity (this I taught on Sunday): it meant that they would enter into each other’s lives in a deep and intimate way.
If love is important, it is also elusive. I have listened to many married couples share their secret pain. Some came to me because the inner ache had become unbearable. Others came because they realized that their behavior or the misbehavior of their spouse was destroying the marriage. Some came simply to inform me that they no longer wanted to be married. Their dreams of living happily ever after had been crushed against the hard walls of reality. Again and again I have heard the words “Our love is gone, our relationship is dead. We used to feel close, but not now. We no longer enjoy being with each other. We don’t meet each other’s needs.” Their stories bear testimony that adults as well as children have “love tanks.”
Could it be that deep inside hurting couples exist an invisible “emotional love tank” with its gauge on empty? Could the misbehavior, withdrawal, harsh words, and critical spirit occur because of that empty tank? If we could find a way to fill it, could the marriage be reborn?
With a full tank would couples be able to create an emotional climate where it is possible to discuss differences and resolve conflicts? Could that tank be the key that makes marriage work?
I am convinced that keeping the emotional love tank full is as important to a marriage as maintaining the proper oil level is to an automobile. Running your marriage on an empty “love tank” may cost you even more than trying to drive your car without oil. Whatever the quality of your marriage is now, it can always be better. I don’t want people to just “Love”…I want people to “Love” with longing.
Something in our nature cries out to be loved by another. Isolation is devastating to the human psyche. That is why solitary confinement is considered the cruelest of punishments. At the heart of humankind’s existence is the desire to be intimate and to be loved by another. Marriage is designed to meet that need for intimacy and love. That is why the biblical writings spoke of the husband and wife becoming “one flesh.” That did not mean that individuals would lose their identity (this I taught on Sunday): it meant that they would enter into each other’s lives in a deep and intimate way.
If love is important, it is also elusive. I have listened to many married couples share their secret pain. Some came to me because the inner ache had become unbearable. Others came because they realized that their behavior or the misbehavior of their spouse was destroying the marriage. Some came simply to inform me that they no longer wanted to be married. Their dreams of living happily ever after had been crushed against the hard walls of reality. Again and again I have heard the words “Our love is gone, our relationship is dead. We used to feel close, but not now. We no longer enjoy being with each other. We don’t meet each other’s needs.” Their stories bear testimony that adults as well as children have “love tanks.”
Could it be that deep inside hurting couples exist an invisible “emotional love tank” with its gauge on empty? Could the misbehavior, withdrawal, harsh words, and critical spirit occur because of that empty tank? If we could find a way to fill it, could the marriage be reborn?
With a full tank would couples be able to create an emotional climate where it is possible to discuss differences and resolve conflicts? Could that tank be the key that makes marriage work?
I am convinced that keeping the emotional love tank full is as important to a marriage as maintaining the proper oil level is to an automobile. Running your marriage on an empty “love tank” may cost you even more than trying to drive your car without oil. Whatever the quality of your marriage is now, it can always be better. I don’t want people to just “Love”…I want people to “Love” with longing.
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Day 10: Blessed And Highly FavoredDay 11: Coming Into AlignmentDay 12: And My Heart Says YesDay 13: Speak The WordDay 14: Trust LoveDay 15: Come Together Right Now Over MeDay 16: Stay In the Zone!Day 17: Half Empty or Half FullDay 18: Knowing Your AssignmentDay 19: Pressing ForwardDay 20: Defeating The EnemyDay 21: Transformation
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